have'nt been updating lately. i guess my enthusiasm for blogging is fading away. well, since the holidays i've been lazing around at home doing nothing, must well blog to kill time.

i noticed how great my size had shrink. not eating a proper 3 meals per day. sleeping late and waking up late. i know my fitness has dropped tremendously, especially my weight. maybe i need to exercise regularly..

now my laptop is in a mess, getting hit by adwares. pretty irritating when you surf the net and something just pops out from nowhere. and its slowing down as well. needa get in done and cleaned. maybe reformatting it might help cause there's loads of rubbish in my laptop which i dun need it.

lately, something came into my mind. its been quite rare and long to think about this again. i dunno why i cant like a girl long enough to get into a relationship. back in sec4 there's a gal who had a crush on me unexpectedly. i looked like a nerd and like an ugly fella. just cant understand why she liked me. she's pretty, cute and quiet. thats the perfect personalities in a gal who i look out for. but maybe the timing she confessed to me is too difficult to handle due to my approaching O lvls. i din answer her. but i din continue to talk to her on msn and sms-ing.

after 1 month of getting to know each other better, i decided to pop the question to her. the response was quite heart-breaking, i thought that she would say yes...but she answered me the common response. "i'm not ready for a relationship." that was so heart-breaking. she even tried to be cold to me after this incident. whenever i talked to her in msn, she would give a short reply. i could still feel how it hurts whenever i talked to her. there was one night i even cried so hard that i could'nt even breathe properly. but thats how life is. getting over with it and move on with life. but she did give me an experience of how being in love and being rejected feels like.

after a year, i experienced it again. in my poly days. its was around december last yr. i confessed to a gal related to the previous one. they were best friend but after some backstabbing and etc. their relationship soured. but it was the same response. well i should'nt blog any longer.

haha. i got some pics to show back in my sec sch days. how i looked like back then.



haha. the left is me



in my poly days. changed quite alot eh?